Creating a family agreement
Creating a family agreement means that everyone in the family, including the children, has a voice. Here are the steps which will help you in creating your own family agreement.
A family agreement is a great way to start a conversation with all the members of the family on how they will support each other to create a happy and peaceful environment. Having an agreement when working from home during this pandemic will help the family in supporting each other.
Here is the process of creating your very own family agreement:
Call for a family meeting with all the members of the family, including children from the age of around 2 years. If you have a stay home helper/nanny, make sure that they are a part of this meeting. It will help all the members of the household to be on the same page.
Emphasise to your child/children that this is an important meeting (just like the meetings that mums and dads have in the office). Communicate the objective of the meeting clearly (to discuss and brainstorm how everyone will support each other during this lockdown period.)
Take a whiteboard/paper to write down what every member says (a template for brainstorming ideas is attached to this article). Children feel respected and heard when you write down what they have said. It is also helpful for you to remember all the amazing ideas.
Start the meeting with a short introduction to the need for a family agreement. Acknowledge that this is a difficult time for everyone. Explain that for the family to function smoothly as you work from home and they engage in home-based learning, everyone needs to take responsibility, and has an important role to play.
To have a focussed discussion ask questions, such as:
What do we need to do so that mum and dad can work from home well?
What do we need to do so children/siblings can complete their home-based learning?
How can we make this time a happy and peaceful time for our family?
How can we support each other through this time?
What is everyone's role and chore?
Write down what everyone says with their names next to their solutions. Please use simple sentences, especially when young children are part of the agreement.
Narrow down the list to a maximum of three or four points. The list may be a long one with everyone's ideas and thinking. Too many points in an agreement make it very difficult to be followed. Choose the most important and effective solution. Some examples of the solutions could be :
Everyone will use a soft voice when mum/dad is working.
Children will play independently when mum/dad is working.
If mum is working, the child/children will go to dad and when dad is working, the child/children will go to mum with questions or requests.
The child/children will follow the home-based learning schedule independently (for older children) and take responsibility for their own work.
The family agreement is now ready to be formalised on the family agreement template (a template is attached to this article).
Get everyone to sign on the agreement, make sure everyone understands the agreement. Young children can scribble their names or make a drawing.
Emphasise that since everyone has signed on the agreement, they are bound in a contract and have a responsibility to each other.
Display the agreement prominently. Ensure it is at eye level for the younger members of the family.
Let everyone know that if the agreement is broken, they will have to come to the agreement and reflect on it. Ask the children for consequences to be applied if the agreement is broken. Children often come up with great solutions.
End the meeting by thanking everyone for their contributions. Remember to keep the meeting short, especially for families with young children.
Read our post for tips on working from home.
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